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Cambridge IELTS 18, Test 1, Task 2 Model Answer
The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
This is an opinion essay. Thus, the whole essay revolves around your opinion and its reasoning. You should have a clear stand from the beginning to achieve high in task response. Failing to do so, can keep you stuck at a band 6.5 even if you write a perfect essay.
Here is the structure of such an essay.
- Introduction paragraph
- Body paragraph one >> one reason for your opinion
- Body paragraph two >> one another reason for your opinion
- Conclusion paragraph
Model Answer
Science has changed the lives of millions of people, starting from inventing home appliances that made house chores much easier to discovering the cure to many life-threatening diseases. In my opinion, science has always been and should always be about the improvement of human existence. In the following lines, I will elaborate on the rationale behind my premise.
Necessity is the mother of invention. Past inventions that stemmed from the need to meet the consistent growth of society posed a vital step in the advancement of science. For example, the invention of the abacus, which is a hand-operated calculating tool, was due to the expansion of tribal members and their wealth. Those ancient individuals needed to use a tool to shorten the time of calculations and to store numbers in what imitated today’s hard drives. Historical innovations are vast and diverse; some are used as they are in our day-to-day life, such as the wheel, while others have been improved over the years, such as airplanes, to be more modern and more sustainable.
Thinking forward, there is a full dependence on science to ensure the human race’s survival from the imminent danger of global warming. Scientists are the ones holding the responsibility of finding solutions to the root causes of global warming. The rapid increase in Earth’s temperature that results from the emission of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere since the advent of the Industrial Revolution could solely be mitigated by scientists finding alternatives to fuel those factories in a more environment-friendly way.
In conclusion, it can be deduced that the advancement and survival of humankind should be the principal purpose of science. As a result, it is recommended that governments support those who work hard to make this possible.
346 words
Band 7 Essay
Read the examiner’s comments:
Task Response: Your essay adequately addresses the prompt by discussing the role of science in improving human existence. You provide examples such as the invention of the abacus and the current need for scientific solutions to address global warming. However, while you discuss the historical aspect of inventions, you could further elaborate on contemporary scientific advancements beyond global warming to strengthen your argument. Overall, your response directly addresses the prompt and presents a clear position on the importance of science in improving human life.
Coherence and Cohesion: Your essay demonstrates coherence and cohesion through logical organization and paragraphing. Ideas are generally well-developed and logically sequenced, with transitions that guide the reader through your argument. However, there are a few instances where the connection between ideas could be more explicit, particularly in transitioning between historical inventions and contemporary scientific challenges. Additionally, some sentences could be more varied in structure to enhance coherence further.
Lexical Resource: You exhibit a good range of vocabulary throughout the essay, with appropriate use of terms related to scientific advancements and societal progress. Your language is generally clear and precise, contributing to the overall clarity of the essay. However, there is room for improvement in using more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance lexical resources further.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Your essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammar and punctuation, with mostly error-free sentences. Complex sentence structures are used effectively, contributing to the overall coherence and clarity of the essay. However, there are a few instances of minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that could be revised for smoother communication.
To achieve a higher band score, such as Band 8 or above, there are a few areas that could be strengthened:
Depth of Analysis: While you provide examples to support your argument, further depth and complexity in the analysis could elevate your essay. Consider exploring the implications of scientific advancements in different areas of human life and delving into the multifaceted nature of scientific progress.
Vocabulary Sophistication: While your vocabulary is generally appropriate, incorporating more sophisticated and nuanced language can enhance the lexical resource of your essay. This includes using advanced terminology related to scientific advancements and societal impact, as well as exploring synonyms and idiomatic expressions to add depth to your writing.
Clarity and Precision: Ensure that your ideas are expressed with utmost clarity and precision. Avoid ambiguity or vagueness in your arguments and strive for clarity in conveying complex concepts. Additionally, pay attention to sentence structure to ensure that each sentence contributes effectively to the overall coherence of your essay.
Critical Thinking: Engage in critical analysis and evaluation of the topic by considering opposing viewpoints or potential limitations of scientific progress. Demonstrating a nuanced understanding of the topic and engaging in thoughtful reflection can elevate the sophistication of your essay.
Overall, your essay aligns well with the Band 7 criteria. It effectively addresses the prompt, demonstrates coherence and cohesion, exhibits a good range of vocabulary, and showcases solid grammatical accuracy. With some minor improvements in vocabulary variety and clarity of expression, your essay could achieve an even higher score.