Join the club to begin your English language learning journey with me!
Cambridge IELTS 18, Test 2, Task 2 Model Answer
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
This is a discussion-opinion essay that plainly asks you to provide an argument discussing both opposing vantage points and supporting your own stand at the same time. Here is the structure for such a question type.
- Introduction paragraph
- Body paragraph one >> first view (studying only university subjects)
- Body paragraph two >> second view (studying extracurricular subjects)
- Conclusion paragraph
Model Answer
Studying at a university could be a great step into one’s professional and academic life. While this institutional education can be sufficient for many students, others prefer to broaden their horizons by studying more advanced disciplines. I agree with the latter approach to education, and both notions along with my own stand will be thoroughly elaborated in the following lines.
Unquestionably, academic formal education is a powerful tool to introduce different topics to students who come from a wide diverse of backgrounds. This could guarantee that virtually all graduates are at the same level of knowledge, which is the basic requirement to begin a career in any professional line of work. After all, the curriculum of those classes is designed by top-notch experts in each field. Although this is true to some extent, a gap between professional skills and academic knowledge persists, which costs many graduates time and money to earn those practical skills.
University students who pursue both basic academic knowledge with adding more advanced subjects and technical skills can garner better job opportunities, which is the purpose of going through the journey of education first place. Not only does this approach advance their careers, but also it could help them realize what fits their personality better, and fulfill their ultimate potential. Furthermore, college students can have lots of free time that is wasted on other unuseful activities. This time could be invested in studying more which would have a positive reflection on their future careers.
To conclude, the integrity between formal classical education and extracurricular disciplines can advance one’s professional life and even propose alternative paths.
268 words
Band 7 Essay
Read the examiner’s comments:
Task Response: Your essay effectively addresses the prompt by advocating for the importance of studying more advanced disciplines beyond basic academic education. You present a clear stance and provide reasons to support your argument, including the potential for better job opportunities and personal growth. However, you could strengthen your response by providing more specific examples or evidence to illustrate the benefits of studying advanced subjects. Additionally, consider addressing potential counterarguments to further enhance the depth of your analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion: Your essay demonstrates coherence and cohesion through logical organization and paragraphing. Ideas are presented in a clear and organized manner, with transitions that guide the reader through your argument. However, there are a few instances where the connection between ideas could be smoother, particularly in transitioning between different points. Additionally, some sentences could be more varied in structure to improve overall coherence.
Lexical Resource: You exhibit a good range of vocabulary throughout the essay, with appropriate use of terms related to education and career advancement. Your language is generally clear and precise, contributing to the overall clarity of the essay. However, there is room for improvement in using more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance lexical resources further. Additionally, consider avoiding repetitive phrases to maintain reader engagement.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Your essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammar and punctuation, with mostly error-free sentences. Complex sentence structures are used effectively, contributing to the overall coherence and clarity of the essay. However, there are a few instances of minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that could be revised for smoother communication.
Overall, your essay aligns well with the Band 7 criteria. It effectively addresses the prompt, demonstrates coherence and cohesion, exhibits a good range of vocabulary, and showcases solid grammatical accuracy. With some minor improvements in vocabulary variety, clarity of expression, and depth of analysis, your essay could potentially achieve a higher band score.